If You're Beautiful
I love you
If you're ugly
I hate you

Come over here
And I'll rate you
On a scale
From one to ten

Somebody said that
Looks aren't everything
He must be blind
Looks are all I see

I don't care about
That spiritual crap
Young and good-looking
That's where it's at

If you're sexy
I want you
If you're not
Then get out

Lay down with me
And we'll have sex
I'll keep you
If you pass my test

But when you get old
Then I'll desert you
Put you in a nursing home
Never come to see you

And when you die
I won't be at your funeral
I'll be out partying
With the next generation

Jim Colyer ascap