bloodstains on her dress

I went to the crunchy frog
To see the creepshow play
I met this ghoul there
And man she took my breath away

Her hair like midnight
Her eyes like the setting sun
Her stare cut like a knife
Her tongue like a shot from a gun

Bloodstains, Bloodstains
On her dress
Beauty is the beast
And im a mess

She took me to her home
The local mausoeum
Though something seemed off
It was a good night for carpe diem

Her name etched in stone
Her body would not die
Shed live on if she could satisfy
Her craving for my life

Bloodstains, bloodstains
On her dress
Beauty is the beast
And im a mess

Two freaks left to never return
To exist within the realm
Not alive and yet not dead
Not heaven earth or hell

Bloodstains, bloodstains
On her dress
Beauty is the beast
And im a mess

Bloodstains, bloodstains
On her dress
Beauty is the beast
And im possessed

You know have to paint a picture with words.Your timing and rhymes are always great.let me make one suggestion,after reading this a few times.I think if you changed "tongue" to "voice" it might be a little stronger.Other than that,another great little song.

yea, i was trying to paint a picture of someone kindof elvira looking, but demonic as hell, hence the "eyes like the setting sun" meaning glowing red eyes