Burn at all (very need help!)

Thread: Burn at all (very need help!)

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  1. Dmitry Bogomolov said:

    Default Burn at all (very need help!)

    Hi there! it`s my first lyrics written in English. Please anybody tell me if its just stupid or written wrong. May be its necessary to change some lines to they sound good, sound like english people really speak. I`d be greatly thankful if you help.

    1
    If you r so hot girl
    Just one your look so heat my heart
    If see you near me
    Is more than even the love of God

    If when i touch you
    Oh what i feel inside!
    And if you keep your distance
    And it because i`m still alive

    CH
    So I have a great idea girl
    You burn me at all
    Burn me at all at all
    Burn me at all
    all all all all
    Just a handful of
    Satisfacted ash
    Then clear the trash
    Just clear the trash trash

    2
    My mind can`t rest from you
    No day nor night
    My defense broken through
    I can not fight

    CH
    So I have a great idea girl
    You burn me at all
    Burn me at all at all
    Burn me at all
    all all all all
    Just a handful of
    Satisfacted ash
    Then clear the trash
    Just clear the trash trash
     
  2. Jim Colyer's Avatar

    Jim Colyer said:

    Default

    It is not stupid at all. Keep writing.
    Jim Colyer Girl albums
     
  3. feuersteve's Avatar

    feuersteve said:

    Default

    Dmitry;

    I don't understand what you are trying to say when you write you burn me.

    Is is possible this phrase is taken from Russian? вы сжигаете меня?

    Let me know.
    Thanks.
    Gott zur Ehr, dem nächsten zur Wehr

    What if they gave a fire and nobody came.
     
  4. Dmitry Bogomolov said:

    Default

    Thank you for reply! When i say "burn me at all" i mean burn out, maybe.

    What i want to say.

    She does not give him herself and just therefore he is still alive. Why so? Because it`s TOO hot for him - get her. If he will it just turns him to ash! Saying "burn at all" i mean burn utterly, fully. So while she keeps distanse - he burns slowly, but if she`s closer it`s like to extinguish the fire by petrol. But he really wants to burn out by this way. Because slowly burning is painful.

    I have idea, but its very hard for me to express it clear for you
     
  5. feuersteve's Avatar

    feuersteve said:

    Default

    let me think about it and see what I can come up with. I may not be able to make it rhyme.

    дайте мне подумать об этом и посмотреть, что я могу придумать. Может быть, он не будет в рифму.

    Я не говорю России, я использую Google. (Но я могу читать)
    Gott zur Ehr, dem nächsten zur Wehr

    What if they gave a fire and nobody came.
     
  6. Dmitry Bogomolov said:

    Default

    Please talk with me English only, its more clear than google "translation" I`m glad if you would help me with lyrics. If need i will help with any russian text or Eng-Rus translate.