Hi, I'm new to this site so hi everyone! I just wanted to see what you all thought of these lyrics I came up with. I'm trying to get some material sorted for a band I'm planning to get going but I would really appreciate any criticism or even appreciation! This song doesn't have a title yet, so if anyone has any ideas there that would be great. Here it goes:



I wish I could let this slip again,
But if I did then I’d just keep forgiving.
I’m so reluctant to say a word
But I can’t help but feel that something’s missing.

I can smell the drink in every word you say.
Your confused words mean nothing to me.
A night once sweet is turning bitter.
But it’s fine for you; you won’t remember.

I won’t try to change your ways,
But I will change the way I’m heading.
I won’t be held under a spell.
And I’m not going to stay here.

Tomorrow morning things won’t be the same.
Another headache but without company.
Empty bottles are all you have to show for this,
That and the lingering misery.

You would tell me things I didn’t want to hear,
But now I’m not around to listen.
The sleepless nights were getting longer,
But now I just have to forget you.

I won’t try to change your ways,
But I will change the way I’m heading.
I won’t be held under a spell.
And I’m not going to stay here.

If I'm to be honest, it looks like a nice song and everything, but there's nothing there that actually stands out. I see you have some sort of chorus in there, try expanding it by a few lines so it looks different to the verses, otherwise it just looks like a bunch of verses just sort of bunged together.

I'm not saying it's bad, I'm just saying it could be improved. What kind of song is it?

Hey,it isn't so bad.Actual it's great.What kind of music is that song?

Well when I'm writing music the main bands that influence me are probably +44, blink-182 (mostly their late stuff) and paramore. so maybe something around that style.
if I'm honest, i did post this not too long after I wrote it so I haven't really went over it too much haha
I was planning on making the chorus stand out more but with music. Looking at it again, though, I do see what you mean Rabbitdrive. I had planned to make another bit to the chorus but i was struggling at the time and I didn't want to force anything out haha. And I'm glad you like it vallera!

Good bands. I can see how that would work to that style of music. Keep up the good work.

Great lyrics!

Sad though , this is a thing that happens a lot, and you're smart if you manage to escape...

One thing in the before last verse..

The sleepless nights were getting longer,
But now I just have to forget her.

The last line doesn't 'flow' if you know what I mean , I think instead of 'forget her' maybe you wanna change this in 'forget you '??

As for a title , I'd like to suggest "Not going under "

Good luck with the band !

haha I didn't even notice that. Thanks!
Thanks for the title also. I'm liking it a lot.