Fireworks - please comment

I know it seems a strange request
Considering all I’ve just confessed
But your empty eyes betray your heart
And it’s so cruel to keep pretending.

I moved mountains to get this close
I thought I had more chance than most
But it took too long to realise
That such divine light would burn my eyes.

See, my world explodes when you are near
And fireworks burn me from the inside out
And now its far too much to bear.
Yes, my world explodes when you are near
And fireworks burn me from the inside out
And now its far too much to bear.

I know I’ve got closer than most tonight
But you should know: so many more have seen your light
Its hypnotic and its far too bright
But we cannot look away.

See, my world explodes when you are near
And fireworks burn me from the inside out
And now its far too much to bear.


please let me know what you think =D

Yeah, they're ok... I'm not really into this sort of song but the lyrics are ok.

very very niiice (F)

The topic is well described even though I must say I hate the topic. Every pop artist has about 9/10 songs written about that crap
Next time, try to write about a topic that is more seldom touched.

Don't get me wrong. I am just trying to be helpful
good luck next time

sorry for not putting this in the last post...
You seem to have a good vocabulary and you make the different sentences to fit very well in. If you switch to another topic in your lyrics, I would have loved them

Thanks, Klukoklai, what sort of topics do you think would be a good idea to try out?

I don't know, I write about personalities, moods, actions, special feelings, atmospheres, worries, and other stuff. That's something you gotta find out for yourself.
Often when I write something I just start off without knowing what I write about and than later I realize what they are all about. That makes it easier for me to continue writing my song.
haha, that might sound really weird, but writing works different for everyone. Cheers