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cancer is not a infecting disease...

hmm.. its a bit different from your usual stuff, which is good in my opinion

thanx klukoklai i try very hard to write something good and not boring..

hmm.. 'cause your usual stuff is boring?

i dont say that i say that i dont want to write something usual like most writers..i want to write unusual things like castaways,murderers,psychos..

ok if you want my verdict

It sound like it's from a third grade.

Get More Creative, and use descriptive words.

2.3/5

i think you are right about this song i dont think i have done my best..i will complete and try make it better.. thanx for helping princecomedy

thanks zoniq for using my advice >

i think its a bit better now what do you think?i had to many *i want*..ill edit it again but this song is really difficult to write this is the only song i cant finish yet..!

try capitalizing the first letter of each sentence.

i finally finished..this is the first song made me so tired i dont know why..anyway finally finished!!

"i want to write unusual things like castaways,murderers,psychos"
(sorry i don't know yet how to quote) ehm, I think (if you look more into music) that you will find that there are a lot of artists singing about this stuff..
Im glad you changed the line about canser Its still not very great form my opinion, but still i think its better than much of the other you write..
Just continue making songs and you will get better and better

Just seemed like you forced it too much to me, but its certainly not bad.

thanx guys ill continue throught the rain and the pain

haha.. you faggot :P

lol

i hate that word....

hahaha lol

im serious

no i say haha about klukoklai..

oh ..... thats still cool