Can't Take Anymore

This is my first time on a forum, also on this Lyric. I would be gratefull for any comments made on this Lyric, good or bad, as I need to learn more on Lyric writing.

CAN'T TAKE ANYMORE.

Well I never knew my luck when I, saw her there
standing so pretty with her, long blond hair
looking so cute and, kinder, shy
if she walks away now I would, surely die.
She's looking my way as she, gives a smile
and i couldn't help thinking she'l be, mine all mine.

Well I'm falling apart
I can't take anymore
got to ask-er her name
before she walks out that door.
Yes I'm falling apart
I can't take anymore
got to ask-er her name
before she walks out that door.

Now she's the kind'er girl that I, like to to treat
she's funny when she talks and she's, kind-of-sweet,
I'm acting so strange that I can, feel a glow
but she's looking at the time that, she has to go.
Lookin so cute and kind'er, shy
if she walks away now I would, surely die.

Well I'm falling apart
can't take anymore
got to ask-er her name
before she walks out that door.
Yes I'm falling apart
I can't take anymore
got to ask-er her name
before she walks out that door.

No I can't take anymore.

amazing lyrics.. i love it.. you're a really good writer..

Many thanks for your encouraging comments, glad that you like it. Now is to try to fit music to it.