When I got to the golden city Most of the gold was gone By that time I had some questions So I flagged down a race-car bum He said 'Sonny I don't know where it's going, But I can show you where it all comes from' And he mopped his red forehead and he pointed Straight into the setting sun And people let me tell you That what I then did saw It sent such a shock to my system That I almost fell down dead on the floor 'Cos the sun had a big chunk missing About 24 carats wide And I stared into that hole in the golden sun And you wanna know what I saw inside? I saw a giant toothpick factory And it made my very soul feel sick 'Cos when I say I saw a toothpick factory
I mean I saw a factory made out of toothpicks And that factory was a-hoppin' and a-jumpin' And a-roaring and letting off steam And you know that that ain't all now Let me tell you what else I seen Behind the factory was a giant mutant monster With sixty-seven seperate tails And each one was a-wiggling and a-waving And each one as long as twenty-three whales And at the tip of each towering tendrils Were a dozen tiny pencils of lead And each word they wrote was in a different language And when you put them all together they said 'You who have arms to wrestle And you who have wars to fight And you who have chips on your shoulders Must now line up and stand to my right But you who are meek and lawful And you who are soft and kind If you don't want to see something awful Run and get yourself a rock to hide behind 'Cos these colours are just a signal And these colours are just about to fade' And when I read those words I shivered And I saw exactl what the factory made Out of a little doorway At the end of a conveyor belt In the centre of a ring of fire Half the size of a postage stamp Were a million household items Packed into a metal Dukes Of Hazzard lunchbox And they were all shut and sealed and fastened With a gold combination lock And just about every minute Another one came right out of the hole And crashed to the earth beneath it And landed in a lump of coal And every poor coal miner Who happened on a golden stone Was made both richer and wiser And had to murder someone to get it home And then I had to close my eyelids And I had to turn my face away The race-car man was crying And I heard him angrily say 'I suppose you want a glass of water I suppose you wanna eat something warm' I said, 'Yes but not with you sir' And I ran off to be alone And I sat under a bridge and I wondered What exactly all of these things were And I found I could not yet remember What I thought they were before I just want something even Something that won't cause no fuss The sun can go about its business And leave the rest to us And we'll call it even And we'll call it gold
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