Long ago, in days of yore It all began with a God named Thor There were Vikings and boats And some plans for a furniture store It's not a bodega, it's not a mall And they sell things For apartments smaller than mine As if there were apartments smaller than mine
(CHORUS): Ikea: just some oak and some pine And a handful of Norsemen Ikea: selling furniture for college kids And divorced men Everyone has a home But if you don't have a home You can buy one there
So rent a car or take the bus
Lay your cash down and put your trust In a land where the furniture Folds to a much smaller size Billy the bookcase says hello And so does a table whose name is Ingo And the chair is a ladder-back birch But his friends call him Karl
(CHORUS)
Ikea: plywood, brushed steel Ikea: meatballs, tasty Ikea: allen wrenches All of them for free All of them for me
I'm sorry I said Ikea sucks I just bought a table for sixty bucks And a chair and a lamp And a shelf and some candles for you I was a doubter, just like you 'Til I saw the American dream come true In New Jersey, they got a Goddamned Swedish parade
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