The Two-hundred Year Old Alcoholic lyrics


When I was eighty I started smoking
Took to drinking at eighty-five
At ninety I started courting
Thank God that I was alive
Ninety-five saw me in business
Determined to rake in a pile
At a hundred I made my first million
And I started living in style

Chorus:
Oh, it's never too late to start living
To get out and have some fun
The sun will be just as shiny in the morning
As the first day the world begun

Well I moved to an uptown penthouse
Used fifties to light my cigars
Developed a taste for fine champagne
Drove fast I-talian cars
But the doctor he give me a warning
And a lecture on right and wrong
If I didn't give up my sinful ways
I couldn't live very long

But I said to him...

Now I'm a two-hundred year old alcoholic
And the nicotine's caught up on me
But worst of all in this morning's mail
Got a suit for paternity
But I'm not really unhappy
'Cause maybe I'll have me a son
And his morning's will be just as shiny
As the first day the world begun

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